The Fear of Divorce: Embracing New Beginnings

Your marriage may be a mess – your spouse treats you poorly, you’ve been through betrayal or maybe you don’t even like each other. But the thought of divorce is scary and navigating through the chaos and conflict that comes with divorce can be overwhelming. You may be worried about the impact of divorce on your children, how you’re going to support yourself and your children and how to go through the process without spending your savings on attorneys – all of these issues can paralyze people from taking steps to end a failing relationship. You’re not alone if the thought of getting divorced brings dread and fear but you can become fully prepared for whatever next step you decide to take. Here are some reasons not to fear divorce:

1. Divorce allows you to have a fresh start: While divorce is the end of a chapter, it also opens the doors to new beginnings. Embracing change can lead to the opportunity to create a life free from the struggles and negativity of the past.

2. It’s better for children to have 2 happy parents: Research has shown that staying in an unhappy marriage can have a negative effect on children. Choosing divorce over prolonged conflict can create a healthier environment for them to thrive in.

3. Pain is temporary: Although it seems like the pain of divorce is going to go on forever, it actually is temporary. Embracing the grieving process and allowing yourself the time and space to grieve can pave the way for healing and personal growth.

4. There can be love again: It’s not good to rush into another relationship. But after you’ve taken time to heal, you have the chance to rediscover what you truly desire in a partner. And if you’ve truly worked on yourself through therapy, journaling, support groups or whatever you’ve done to heal, you can find a fulfilling relationship.

5. People change: People evolve over time, and marriage vows made in the past may no longer align with your current wants and needs. It's okay to acknowledge this and seek a path that promotes happiness and fulfillment.

6. Happiness matters: Too many people stay in an unhappy marriage because they’re scared to divorce, they’re worried about what others think or they’re worried about their children. No one benefits if you’re unhappy in your marriage – not the kids and not either spouse. If you’re happier without the marriage, it will have a positive ripple effect on your family and others around you.

7. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks: The only person who matters is you. Try not to be impacted by what others think about your divorce is not your concern. Focus on your own needs, desires, and the well-being of your family.

8. You’re stronger than you think. People go through divorce every day. They are just as scared and overwhelmed as you. But each person finds the strength to get through the day, then the week and then the month. Before they know it, they’re through the process and divorced. I’ve helped hundreds of people get through divorce. I promise you can do this. Have faith in yourself and your ability to handle difficult things. I’m sure that you’ve dealt with difficult things in the past. How did you get through? Because you’re stronger than you realize! Keep telling yourself that and you’ll get through it one day at a time.

While fear of divorce is understandable, it doesn’t have to hold you back from seeking a healthier and more fulfilling life. Embrace the opportunity for a new beginning, and personal growth, and happiness that divorce can bring. Remember, you deserve to live a happy and complete life.