What Does a Divorce Coach Actually Do?

When people start their divorce, they usually ask a friend for a referral to a divorce attorney. Some people also realize they may benefit from working with a therapist or a financial professional. But many people still don't realize the benefit of working with a divorce coach. They don't understand what a divorce coach actually does.

A divorce coach helps you navigate everything that happens between where you are and where you want to be in your divorce. While your attorney focuses on the law, the law is only a small part of your divorce. The emotional part is one of the biggest part of the divorce. A divorce coach helps you manage your emotions, understand the process make thoughtful decisions, develop a strategy, stay organized, communicate effectively, and move through the process with greater confidence and less conflict. Working with a divorce coach can help you avoid making decisions based on emotion and avoid costly mistakes.

A Divorce Coach Helps You Know Where to Start

Many people come to me not understanding what steps to take in their divorce. Most people going through divorce are completely overwhelmed. They're worried about their kids, whether or not they're going to be able to be stable financially, where they're going to live and if they're going to be happy. If you meet with an attorney at this stage, you’re not going to use your attorney most efficiently. Attorneys provide invaluable legal guidance, but their time is expensive. Many people spend part of their consultation explaining their emotions, venting about their ex, telling the story of their marriage, or trying to figure out which questions they should be asking. This can waste a ton of time and money.

A divorce coach helps you slow down, process your emotions so that you can think clearly. A divorce coach will help you know how and when to work with an attorney and prepare for your meetings with an attorney.

Helping You Prepare For Negotiation

One of the most valuable things a divorce coach does is help clients prepare before negotiations begin. Many people know what they want in general, but they haven't thought through the details. For parents, this might mean creating a parenting proposal that addresses schedules, holidays, vacations, transportation, extracurricular activities, communication, and future decision-making. Financial preparation often includes developing a realistic post-divorce budget, identifying monthly expenses, understanding future financial needs, and organizing the information that financial professionals and attorneys will need.

A divorce coach helps you prepare for negotiations with your soon-to-be-ex. You'll know what needs your attention now, what can wait, and which professionals are best suited to help with each part of the process. 

Helping You Move Forward

One of the greatest benefits of divorce coaching is they help you focus on your life post-divorce and create a strategy to get there. A divorce coach helps you step back and ask questions:

• Will this decision help create the future you want?
  
• Is this worth the emotional and financial cost?
  
• Are you protecting your children?
  
• Is there another solution that meets everyone's most important priorities?
  

These conversations are priceless and help you avoid fighting over things that don't matter in the long term.

Lowering Conflict Without Giving Up What Matters

Many people think reducing conflict means giving in. It doesn't. Lowering conflict means responding thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally. It means choosing communication that moves the process forward instead of escalating it. Every hostile email, impulsive text message, or unnecessary argument has the potential to increase legal fees and delay resolution. A divorce coach helps clients communicate more effectively, prepare for difficult conversations, and decide which issues are truly worth fighting over. Often, small changes in communication prevent much larger problems down the road.

Helping You Feel Calmer and More Confident

Perhaps the greatest benefit of working with a divorce coach is the confidence that comes from having a plan. Divorce can leave people questioning every decision they make. A divorce coach provides a place to think through these questions, explore your options, and prepare for each step before you take it.

When clients are organized, prepared, and focused they're less likely to escalate conflict, make impulsive decisions, or prolong negotiations over issues that could have been resolved with better preparation and communication. One emotional email can ruin weeks of negotiation. One poorly prepared negotiation can delay settlement. One decision made in anger can have financial consequences for years. A divorce coach helps clients avoid those costly mistakes and prepares you to have an amazing future life.