For individuals going through a divorce, the holidays can be a challenging time. Finding ways to manage the difficulties of a divorce during the holidays is possible. The following helpful tips can make your holiday season a happy one.
Surround Yourself With Family and Friends
Regardless of the time of year, going through a divorce can be an extremely emotional and lonely time. Surrounding yourself with family and friends is a great way to feel supported while going through a divorce during the holidays.
Close family and friends will want to be supportive as you go through divorce. But they may not understand how isolating the holiday period is. Even if it’s a little uncomfortable, reach out to close family and friends to let them know you’re struggling. Tell them that you don’t have plans or that you’ll be alone. Being with family and friends can improve your mental health and keep your mind busy with something other than the divorce. Plan something fun with people you’re close to and you’ll start seeing a positive future for yourself and your children.
Make New Traditions
While the holiday season is always filled with traditions, going through a divorce is bound to change them. Making new traditions will help families who have children keep the holiday spirit and distract them from the challenges of change. It may be the first time your kids are spending the holidays with one parent instead of two so having new activities planned can help them better adjust to this new time in their life.
Take Care of All the Logistics
Make sure to take care of as many logistical aspects of parenting time before the holidays. When you’re dealing children and all of the busyness of the holiday season, it’s critical to get the parenting schedule settled way in advance. With the help of an experienced divorce coach, you can make sure that you’re prepared so there won’t be any last minute conflicts and you’ll be able to enjoy the holidays without stress.
As you’re going through divorce, you probably won’t have a set parenting schedule. You may want to avoid speaking to your STBX about this, knowing that it will be a tense conversation. But avoiding the conversation only makes things worse. If you don’t want to speak to your STBX, email is a great way to communicate. Have your divorce coach or a trusted friend read over the email before you send it. While it may be stressful, planning ahead makes it easier on everyone. Children benefit when they know what the schedule is. Communicate with your children about holiday schedules to alleviate any guilt or sadness they may be experiencing for spending the holidays with one parent versus both.
You Can Have a Happy Holiday Season as You Divorce!
Reflecting on the past around the holidays is common, but it’s crucial to try to put the past where it belongs - in the past. When going through a divorce during the holidays, try to think of the future and make a list of all the things you want to do in the next year. Getting excited for new experiences is a great way to let go of the sadness around divorce and start moving forward in your life. If you put the past in the past and focus on the future, it will be easier for you to develop new traditions with your friends, family, and children and will enable you to be grateful and enjoy the present.
Jill Barnett Kaufman is a Divorce Coach, Therapist, Parent Educator and Divorce Mediator. She is an experienced professional who helps clients discover new ways to resolve a variety of challenges when considering divorce, starting the process of divorce or are already divorced.