Everyone talks about the negative impact of divorce. I never recommend divorce – it’s always a last resort. BUT there are positives that can come out of divorce. Here are five positives that can come out of divorce:
1. Finding yourself. When you’re in a dysfunctional marriage and especially when you have children, you may put your needs aside because you want to avoid conflict and you don’t have a lot of extra time. Some people don’t take care of themselves and stop doing the things that made them happy before they were married. When you go through divorce, you don’t need to think about your partner’s needs anymore and most people have more time to yourself without your children. It’s an opportunity to focus on yourself and really get to know yourself. It can result in a lot more happiness in your life!
2. Independence. When you’re married, each partner usually specializes in doing certain things for the family. You get to be good at those things. But when you’re divorcing, you can’t ask your partner to hang a picture or pay the bills. You have to start doing most things on your own. It’s amazing how good it can feel when you’ve accomplished something on your own that you never did before! You realize that you’re a lot more capable than you ever thought.
3. Peace. There isn’t a lot of peace in a home with an unhealthy marriage. Either there’s a lot of fighting or you’re distant from each other. There’s usually a lot of tension. When you move into separate homes, and you don’t have that tension, what most people say is that there’s a feeling of calm that they experience. That peace is a gift that’s so good for you and for your children.
4. You get to make all of the decisions. You don’t have to ask anyone if you can buy that couch or watch that tv show. I made my bedroom into a feminine, tranquil place that made me so happy. You can have that man cave that you always wanted or you can take that pottery making class.
5. Strength. Going through divorce is one of the most difficult things anyone can go through. Every day you get through is proof of how strong you are. When you’re through it, you can say to yourself, “Look what I went through. I can handle anything!”
Even though divorce is a difficult experience and no one would choose that outcome to their marriage, there are positives that come out of it. It’s important to recognize the positives of finding yourself, independence, peace, getting to make decisions and strength. Focusing on the positives makes it easier to heal and move forward in your life.
If you’d like to have support as you go through your divorce and be better equipped to move forward in your life, schedule a free consultation with Divorce Coach Jill here: https://go.divorcecoachjill.com/calendar
Jill Barnett Kaufman is a Divorce Coach, Therapist, Parent Educator and Divorce Mediator. She is an experienced professional who helps clients discover new ways to resolve a variety of challenges when considering divorce, starting the process of divorce or are already divorced.