DIVORCE COACH JILL
  • Home
  • About
  • Divorce Coaching
  • Services
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Thriving Through Divorce Online Group Coaching Program
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Disclaimer

Divorce coach jill
- ​Blog -

is a happy blended family possible?

1/14/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Many clients have difficulty with combining two families after divorce. They have children who are different ages, have different needs and personalities and they find it overwhelming and stressful. It’s not surprising considering how difficult it is raising children in intact families where there hasn’t been divorce!
 
Despite the difficulties, it is possible to have a happy family even if you have children from two different marriages. Some of the ways to make this situation successful are as follows:

  1. Take time to get to know your partner. You don’t really get to know someone until you’re dating for over a year. I recommend 1 to 1 ½ years of dating before you can assess whether this person is for you. After that amount of time, you’ll probably know most of their faults and can decide whether or not you want to jump into a long term, committed relationship with them. Therefore, if possible, it’s better to wait to blend families until you’re sure of that commitment.
  2. Don’t rush introducing the children to your partner. Children don’t need to meet everyone you’re dating. Wait until you know it’s a serious relationship before you introduce them to your children. If you date someone, they meet your children and then you break up, it could be another loss for your children, particularly if they were emotionally connected to them.
  3. Know what your children need and make them a priority. For example, if children, especially young children, need one on one time with a parent, make sure that you prioritize that in your schedule. This is particularly true following a divorce as children are vulnerable and may need extra attention. Children need to feel important in your life. If you’re regularly making your children feel important, you’ll then be able to take time for yourself and they’ll be ok.
  4. Make the new relationship a priority also. This can be difficult to manage when there are so many things pulling at your time and attention. But if you can schedule a date night with your partner once a week, that will help you maintain the connection in your relationship. Even if the date night is at home after the kids go to bed, that could work. Turn off all of the phones and computers, light a candle, make some tea and really focus on each other. You’ll be amazed at how much you both need that connection.
  5. Try to stay out of the way of how your partner parents unless they want you involved. Everyone has their own style of parenting. Even if your partner’s style of parenting is different from how you parent, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it. Each of you must respect the other’s way of interacting with their children.
  6. Learn how to communicate effectively. When one member of the family is upset, talk about it respectfully and truly listen to each other. Make sure there are opportunities for each family member to express how they feel and feel validated. This can be accomplished through weekly family meetings with an agenda for the meetings determined by all family members. You can have a list of agenda items that are added to during the week. There should also be a group text and a family calendar where the family can clearly communicate with each other.
 
These suggestions will help you develop a closer family when you have partners that have children from previous marriages/relationships. If these techniques don’t work, family counseling with an experienced therapist is an option. However, if you make children and your relationship a priority, respect boundaries and communicate effectively, you’ll be far along the way to having a happy blended family!


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Jill Barnett Kaufman is a Divorce Coach, Therapist, Parent Educator and Divorce Mediator. She is an experienced professional who helps clients discover new ways to resolve a variety of challenges when considering divorce, starting the process of divorce or are already divorced. 

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020

    Categories

    All
    Communication
    Co Parenting
    Co-parenting
    Divorce
    Forgiveness
    Marriage
    Relationships
    Well Being
    Well-being

    RSS Feed

If you are in crisis or in need of emergency assistance, please call 911.
Join the Facebook group Separation and Divorce Support Community by clicking below: 
Divorce Support Community
What Clients Are Saying:
​

"I happened to come upon Thriving Through Divorce on Facebook. I can genuinely state that it was one of the best decisions that I have made in this entire process. The support, guidance, caring, information - both tactical and emotional was extremely helpful. This was not some theoretical, book/psychology focused approach - It is real life and real impact! I could expand on this for quite a bit more, but suffice to say that I was more than thankful for having happened to find Jill and her program and the group has been an amazing blessing. Thank you Jill on behalf of all of us."

S.Y. Denver, CO

"I spoke with Jill when my marriage first broke down.  Her intelligent and compassionate guidance helped me make positive choices for myself and my children during the divorce process.  Now, I’m on the other side, living my new chapter.  Her book is a valuable tool in processing feelings, approaching challenges, and setting goals for the future.  Thank you, Jill!"
 
Patti S. New Jersey

"I am truly grateful for participating in the "Thriving Through Divorce Group Coaching Program" developed by Jill. It was refreshing to know that divorce will not define who I am. This program provided great tools to aide in managing and working through the emotions that come up during the divorce process. Jill's knowledge and personal experience with divorce helped me to learn what common mistakes to avoid during the divorce process. It was a breath of fresh air to know what I wasn't the only person going through such a major life event."
 
J.B. Iowa


"I spoke to Jill over six months ago and now I'm back to reflect. I'm stronger and in a better place in my life. Jill helped springboard me to where I am today and I'm grateful for her help."
J.A.
Email: info@divorcecoachjill.com
Phone: 609-400-2888
​
Connect with us: 
To get more information, click the button below: 
more information
For our privacy policy, click here,  for our Terms of Use, click here and for our Disclaimer, click here.
  • Home
  • About
  • Divorce Coaching
  • Services
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Thriving Through Divorce Online Group Coaching Program
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Disclaimer