Letting go of anger in divorce

First things first…. In order to get through feelings, you have to feel them! It may be painful to feel anger, sadness and all the overwhelming emotions that come with divorce or any other difficult situation but it’s necessary in order to move on with your life. Anger may be directed at your ex, at your situation, at people who don’t understand and sometimes it’s even directed at yourself. This is all normal, so don’t stuff it or feel guilty about it. 

“But, Jill,” you may say, “I just want to MOVE ON… Divorce is hard enough without focusing on my uncomfortable feelings.” Letting go of your anger is the first step to moving on and while it’s hard, it can be done. Holding onto intense anger toward your ex can make it difficult for you to experience the happiness and peace for looking for in your life. Here are 3 tips to begin the process of letting go of your anger so you can truly move on with your life and get to the happiness and peace you’ve been craving. 

• Journal your feelings and emotions. It doesn’t have to make sense, just get it out on paper. Those thoughts and feelings are bouncing around in your head making the rounds again and again. Get them out of there! Journaling is a powerful way to process and release negative emotions.
• Draw a picture that symbolizes all the feelings you have about your ex. Use bold colors or scribble if you have to. This is a way to process things you can’t put words to. After you are finished, light it on fire, in a safe place, or rip it up and get rid of it. 
• Visualize what you would want to hear from your ex. Do you want them to admit they were wrong? Or perhaps apologize to you? Do you wish they would say they love you and want the best for you? After this, visualize all the past anger and negative memories gathering in a cloud and blowing away. Watch it float away and feel how much lighter you feel. 

Letting go of anger is a process, and acknowledging your feelings and then working to release them will help. My book I’m Getting Divorced, Now What? walks you through steps that will guide you through a process not only to release your anger, but to clarify your goals and priorities, help you co-parent and more. You can check it out here!