One of the hardest things to deal with is FEAR when you’re going through divorce. So many fears came up for me – fear about being alone, fear about being judged, fear about my kids being ok, fear of my financial well-being, and so many more.
I started my divorce with so much anxiety and fear. I think the biggest thought that I had to overcome was:
Was I strong enough to handle divorce?
Divorce requires strength. No matter what’s thrown at you, you have to figure out how to deal with it. Because so many things are being “thrown” at you – someone makes a judgmental comment, your STBX (soon-to-be-ex) sends a mean text, you get a letter from your STBX’s attorney, your STBX says something negative about you to your children, etc. Every week something can happen that emotionally triggers you.
But every time you get to the end of the day and your kids are ok and you’ve done something constructive, it’s proof that you’re strong. You’ve ignored your STBX’s mean text, you’ve helped your children with their homework, you went for a walk, you completed a project at work – all show you that you can do this. One step at a time you’re getting through your divorce and that’s incredible.
Take a deep breath. Repeat to yourself, “I’m strong and I can get through this. I’m going to be ok.”
Don’t settle for less. I know things are tough right now. But it will get better. You’ll get through this and you’ll be amazed at how strong you really are!
Jill Barnett Kaufman is a Divorce Coach, Therapist, Parent Educator and Divorce Mediator. She is an experienced professional who helps clients discover new ways to resolve a variety of challenges when considering divorce, starting the process of divorce or are already divorced.