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The key to thriving through divorce

2/24/2021

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What is the number 1 KEY to coming out stronger through divorce? Support! We all know, intellectually, that we need support. It seems like a good idea. Following are specific reasons why support is the key to thriving through divorce. 

Loneliness- Divorce is often a lonely road, but it doesn’t have to be. Divorce can be so isolating- many people feel like they are the only one experiencing it. While your family and friends can be great, if they didn't experience divorce, they may not truly understand what you’re going through. When you connect with others who have experienced divorce, there’s a connection that’s hard to explain. They don’t judge you. They get it. Find a support system that includes others going through divorce. You’ll see what a difference it makes - you won’t feel so alone and isolated.

Shame- Divorce can be so difficult because many people are ashamed of the fact that they’re going through divorce. They feel like they’ve failed and that everyone is judging them. There’s a tidal wave of negative thoughts and feelings that pop up out of nowhere. Thoughts like: 

“Everyone's looking at me differently.”
“They think I’m a failure.”
“I’m not good enough to make the marriage work.”
“There’s something wrong with me.”

These thoughts are common in divorce unless you're around others who’ve experienced divorce. They help you see that you're not the only one going through it. Hearing others experiences lifts the burden of shame so that we can put our energy toward moving through divorce and coming out stronger. 

Hope- It's normal to feel overwhelmed, sad and that life is never going to be good again. You've never been through this before and you don't know what the other side will look like. Hearing from a divorce coach or other people who have made it through divorce and are now thriving is a huge help to give you hope for the future. 

I find these song lyrics by Sara Groves about friendship articulate clearly the heart of why everyone who’s experiencing divorce needs support more than anything else. 

“Every burden I have carried, 
Every joy--it's understood. 
Life with you is half as hard, 
And twice as good.” 

Take the time to reach out for support. I know life is busy and you may feel you’re just surviving. But if you put yourself as a priority and work on making connections, everything else will be so much easier. There’s so much support available out there for you when you just seek it out. 

Here are two opportunities to get the support you need:

  • I have an upcoming FREE webinar where I'll be discussing the 3 Critical Strategies to Save Time, Money & Heartache in Divorce. I would love for you to join me! Register here:  https://go.divorcecoachjill.com/webinarregistration
  • Alternately, check out my transformational group coaching program, Thriving Through Divorce to get the clarity you need alongside others going through the same situation. ​
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    Jill Barnett Kaufman is a Divorce Coach, Therapist, Parent Educator and Divorce Mediator. She is an experienced professional who helps clients discover new ways to resolve a variety of challenges when considering divorce, starting the process of divorce or are already divorced. 

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"I happened to come upon Thriving Through Divorce on Facebook. I can genuinely state that it was one of the best decisions that I have made in this entire process. The support, guidance, caring, information - both tactical and emotional was extremely helpful. This was not some theoretical, book/psychology focused approach - It is real life and real impact! I could expand on this for quite a bit more, but suffice to say that I was more than thankful for having happened to find Jill and her program and the group has been an amazing blessing. Thank you Jill on behalf of all of us."

S.Y. Denver, CO

"I spoke with Jill when my marriage first broke down.  Her intelligent and compassionate guidance helped me make positive choices for myself and my children during the divorce process.  Now, I’m on the other side, living my new chapter.  Her book is a valuable tool in processing feelings, approaching challenges, and setting goals for the future.  Thank you, Jill!"
 
Patti S. New Jersey

"I am truly grateful for participating in the "Thriving Through Divorce Group Coaching Program" developed by Jill. It was refreshing to know that divorce will not define who I am. This program provided great tools to aide in managing and working through the emotions that come up during the divorce process. Jill's knowledge and personal experience with divorce helped me to learn what common mistakes to avoid during the divorce process. It was a breath of fresh air to know what I wasn't the only person going through such a major life event."
 
J.B. Iowa


"I spoke to Jill over six months ago and now I'm back to reflect. I'm stronger and in a better place in my life. Jill helped springboard me to where I am today and I'm grateful for her help."
J.A.
Email: info@divorcecoachjill.com
Phone: 609-400-2888
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